Yom Kippur Morning, 5772 / 2011

On Rosh Hashanah, B’nai Vail’s president Karen Numerof announced 5772 as the “year of community”. I’d like to take this opportunity to talk about community –what it is, what it’s not, why it matters. Community is a highly over-used word, so I’ll start with some definitions.

com·mu·ni·ty

1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage. The Cordillera community

2. a locality inhabited by such a group. An online community

3. a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists (usually preceded by the): the Jewish community.

5. Ecclesiastical . a group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule. the orthodox community

9. the community, the public; society: the needs of the community.

My friend Allison and I used to argue about whether people with tattoos could be called the tattoo community – technically, she’s right. But I argued with her because what I consider “real” community includes other qualities – like investment in and commitment to one another’s well-being. The kind of sharing that goes beyond having a good experience and walking away. So the generic term is not enough to describe what we mean at B’nai Vail by building community.

                I’d like to share with you some thoughts on why “real community” matters, what it is, and more specifically how we’re building it at B’nai Vail.

A vast majority of our community members as well as occasional visitors responded to the survey we did last year. In the report, we concluded that people want to know they matter. People like to be welcomed, like to be called and invited, like to be greeted, and generally like personal connections. Conversely, the lack of these things (or perceived lack) is a contributing factor to dis-affiliation.

At the same time, we all like our privacy and our freedom. For some reason, many of us who gravitate to the Vail Valley are to varying degrees commitment-averse. I don’t know how many conversations I’ve had with people who say, I want to come to services, but I don’t want people prying/ ladies hovering/ anyone talking to me or some variation on that theme. So what are we to do?

Community matters because we live in a society in which individuals and family units are increasingly isolated. We’re perfectionists as a society, and we don’t want anyone to know our frailties, or our failures. But – this is the lesson of Yom Kippur – we are human, and being human means failing. Today, through fasting and spending a large part of the day in synagogue, we have time and space to contemplate our mortality, our weaknesses, our failures. One of my favorite lines from the Psalms says, “God is close to the broken-hearted.” Not only is it safe but it may be necessary to enter that feeling of shatteredness or despair – because we can and do heal, and grieving clears the way for whatever new growth wants to manifest in our lives. But it’s too hard to do it alone. Work and income aren’t necessarily solid platforms. Keeping marriages together and family relationships on solid ground requires so much work. Everyone sooner or later – as I learned this year – has health issues or accidents. We need a larger community during these times – the burden is too much for any individuals or couples to bear. This is one set of reasons why we need community – it’s just too hard to do it along.

         Another set of reasons have to do with cultivating joy – a happy, meaningful life. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, chief rabbi of the UK, talks of how science has now proved what religion has been teaching all along: the top three indicators of happiness are:

·        A sense that life is worthwhile and meaningful,

·        doing good for others thereby contributing in a meaningful way,

·        and having a network of strong and supportive relationships.

       We also need as a society, more conversation about moral and ethical issues. As I said last night, I mean real conversations where a meaningful exchange can take place, where it’s safe to disagree. We can’t realistically expect those conversations to be generated in the business or the political arenas – when we’re mad at Wall Street or at politicians for being who they are, we’re just hurting ourselves. We do need to raise the bar – and religious communities – specifically this Jewish community is a place for these sorts of conversations.

Until this last point, everything I’ve said about community could take place elsewhere… JEWISH is the obvious first descriptor of what sort of community we’re building at B’nai Vail. Most of us have Jewish heritage in common – but even that doesn’t apply to everyone in this congregation. And, all of us are Jews by choice in this day and age when we are free to affiliate – or not –wherever we want. So some level of interest in or commitment to Jewish life is what we all have in common.

Most people are drawn into Jewish life by one or more of three entry gates: One gate is Peoplehood – a sense of fellowship, shared history, shared sensibilities with other Jews. The Peoplehood gate includes people who connect with Israel and care about the fate of world Jewry. A second gate relates to spirituality expressed in a Jewish context – Jewish prayer and all the rituals that revolve around our prayer and our holidays. A third gate I’ll call Mitzvoth – the standards of ethics and values passed on by the Jewish tradition. Often those most drawn to the gate of Mitzvoth are out in the world as teachers, social justice lawyers or activists, saving the world – and maybe never even entering organized Jewish life. And it’s a shame, because how do you perpetuate those as Jewish values once they are divorced from Jewish life?

       Ultimately, I believe that all the gates of entry lead to rich experiences, rich community, rich life based on the quality of the relationships that are formed within the community. And I believe that deep relationships are cultivated through shared endeavors – through shared governance and shared service it is possible, through shared study it is probable. All the gates lead to a richer experience when we approach with an open mind and heart, ready to not already be good at it, ready to learn.

                There are some fabulous engaged Jewish progressive Jewish communities in various places around the world – LA, Jerusalem, New York, Philadelphia, Boston- all of whom have been experimenting with how to have such an engaged community without necessarily adhering to the norms of orthodoxy. I mention orthodoxy because that is what those communities have – real community! Here are some key learnings from Rabbi Elie Kaunfer at Hadar in New York and others:

                Real community works when you have:

·        A Limited number of people – we can’t truly care about more than we can know

·        Shared values/commitments

·        Forego some privacy & take intimacy risks

·        Respect privacy, don’t gossip – make it safe to share / respect and appreciate diversity

·        Responsibilities to one another and the group

o   Including tochecha – loving rebuke – in close relationships we hold another accountable

o   Valuing differences

·        Beyond life cycle events – the day-to-day

·        Ahavat-chinam – Rav Kook

                  More specifically, as B’nai Vail members, you told us what you need: our number one finding was that people need and want to feel included, part of something.

                  Ways to contribute

·        Volunteer your time

Ways to build relationships in our congregation:

·        Havurot

·        Ongoing Adult Education

·        Chesed/tikkun olam

          On Yom Kippur we do teshuvah, occupy ourselves with returning, making amends, apologizing for where we missed the mark. It’s also a time to take stock of where we want to invest our energies going forward – every bad habit or self-indulgence we let go makes space for more opportunities for love and connection. Acknowledging that everyone here has multiple communities vying for your time and energy, I hope that community will play a larger role in our lives this year. Obviously I’m rooting for B’nai Vail as a primary locus for all of you, but whether it’s BV or other communities and groups, my hope and blessing is that we all take more personal risks, let go of our intense need for privacy and maintaining a façade of perfection, and invest our energies in local community this year.

 Religious School

Meet at the Trailhead at 9:30am

From Vail and the west, get on I-70 eastbound and take the East Vail exit (Exit 180). Head west 0.85 miles to the Booth Falls Road (just after the Vail Mtn School). Turn right and follow this road for 0.2 miles to the trailhead parking area.  Parking at the trailhead fills up fast so please arrive early.

Weather conditions can vary so please bring appropriate clothing, footwear and plenty of water and sunscreen.

9:30 am

Outdoors, behind the Vail Interfaith Chapel

generously sponsored by Ronnie & Dierdre Baker

Please join us on Saturday, July 30th for Creekside Shabbat with the Storah-Telling Mavens

9:30 am, Creekside, behind the Vail Interfaith Chapel

Generously underwritten by Kim Yashek

Saturday, July 23rd

9:30am, Vail Interfaith Chapel

We are delighted to be celebrating one more Bar Mitzvah

this summer on July 23rd at the Vail Interfaith Chapel. At

B’nai Vail, we honor the bar or bat mitzvah ceremony as

a formal introduction into the Jewish Community.

Community members and visitors are reminded — not only

are you welcome to come to a bar or bat mitzvah, but it is

a mitzvah to attend these special services!

B’nai Vail Mountain Top Shabbat Service

August 13^th

Meet at the Lionshead Gondola at 9:30 am

Service at the wedding deck 10:30 – Noon

Kiddush at Eagle’s Nest following the service

 Please join the members of B’nai Vail Congregation for a majestic service on top of Vail Mountain honoring cantorial soloist Maxine Graboyes. The service begins at 10:30 am and is led by Rabbi Debra Rapp aport.  Maxine Graboyes will lead us in song.  

The service is followed by a delicious Oneg Shabbat upstairs at Eagle’s Nest, generously sponsored by Ernie & Roberta Scheller

   We meet at the bottom of the gondola in Lionshead at 9:30 am in order to be the first to ride up to Eagle’s Nest.  If you don’t have a valid ski pass we will provide you with a ticket when you check in with our congregational hosts. Gondola tickets are generously donated by Vail Resorts.  Our service takes place on the wedding deck, a five minute scenic walk on a paved pathway.  For those who need assistance a golf cart and driver will be available.

Please remember that dogs are not allowed on the gondola.

For more information about our mountain top services or any of our summer events please call administrator Jeanne Whitney at the B’nai Vail office (970) 477-2992 or please visit our website bnaivail.org